Are you OK?

Yesterday, was Rudy's 1 year gone  "angelversary" (as Sharon C. puts it).  I decided spend the day on my own, incommunicado.   If I had talked to a bunch of people, they all would have done the, "Are you OK?" thing (because that's what we ALL do, right?). When I answer that question a number of times, after a bit, I'm not OK because each time I answer, I think about my situation too much.

To answer the question, I am both OK and NOT OK. I'm sad and missing Rudy like crazy EVERY SINGLE DAY, but dealing with it very well and spending time with friends and focusing on the good things in my life.  It is what it is.  * Rudy's gone. I'm still here.  We are not supposed to waste our lives, so I will figure out how to make the best of it.  

I worked outside most of the day. It was truly the best way to handle the day.  I dug up and moved an overgrown border of monkey grass. (NO MORE MONKEY GRASS BED BORDERS NEAR THE HOUSE!) I had to work on it in sessions.  Whew!  It's much easier to dig and separate if the ground is damp.  The ground was a bit dry, so I watered it well and waited.  I had to repeat the watering a number of times in order to get all of those stubborn clumps out of the ground.

In between sessions of monkey grass digging, I mowed a bit of grass.  After finishing a couple of sections, I parked the mower in front of the house to run in and get my good earphones.  When I came back out, it wouldn't crank.  It just makes a sad clicking noise.  The battery.  Shoot.  

What to do?  I was determined to deal with it on my own.  The mower doesn't need to stay in front of the steps.  It was too heavy to push myself.  I could move it a few inches at best.  Think.  What would Rudy do?  He'd pull it with the tractor, but the tractor is gone.  I didn't want to use the truck.  I wondered if the John Deere mower would pull it.  The Skag mower is heavier than the John Deere, but it was worth a try.  I found Rudy's heavy duty chain and connected the two mowers.  It was slow going and a strain on my sweet John Deere, but I finally got it moved to a section of driveway where it could be worked on easily.  

Unfortunately, the move left some tracks in the yard.  They aren't as bad as they look.  Mostly, it's a trail of broken grass and the next time I mow, it shouldn't be too noticeable.  

I still have lots of yard work to do around the house - especially trimming bushes.  Some of the bushes will have to wait.  I discovered a nesting mama bird in one of them!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

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* Actually, Rudy is not completely gone.  I feel certain he's still hanging around because of all the crazy signs I keep getting that are often too spot on to be coincidental.  I still talk to him and I can practically hear what he'd have to say about most everything.