Saturday, October 24, 2015

Trading in My Canoe Life for A Kayak Life

I was watching a guilty pleasure show on Netflix when one of the characters came out with something I found to be rather profound.  I found that what she was describing could be used to describe my life recently.

For the last 38 years, I have been going along in a canoe.  Two people were paddling.  Each of us had an oar and we each paddled on opposite sides of the canoe. We worked together to keep the canoe on course. That works fine as long as both people are able to paddle.  When one person drops their oar (or gets cancer or dies), then the person left paddling goes in circles if they try to keep paddling the same way.  They can paddle harder and faster, but they'll still be going in circles.  If the one person tries to paddle both sides of the canoe, they have to be willing to work much harder and progress much more slowly.

A kayak is different.  It's smaller and uses a different paddle.  One person can easily work both sides of the boat.   One person can navigate through life, but they need to design their life differently than a couple.  I am that person.  I need to redesign my life so that I can handle it on my own.

I am living in a home designed for a couple.  I am trying to continue doing all the things I used to do while continuing all the things Rudy kept up with.

Oh, the power of PhotoShop...
If only I could make things happen in life so easily.

I'd love to trade my canoe in right this minute, but I won't.  A six dog lifestyle requires the canoe.  For now, the kayak is just a dream, but I sure hope one day to have a much simpler life.  Meanwhile, I'll make the best of this canoe.

That sounds positive.  I'm trying hard to talk myself into feeling that positive.  In truth, this stupid canoe is driving me insane and my arms are tired from paddling on both sides.  I think I'm going to give in to a full-out pity party tonight and hope I wake up tomorrow in a much better mood.  I usually do.  Maybe I'll even dream of kayaks tonight!

Which brings me to a funny part, because I can ALWAYS find humor in any situation.  While looking for great kayak photos to photoshop my face onto, I came across the photo below.  OMG!  Is that a sign that my simple home on the water should be on a lake rather than the ocean?  :-D


3 comments:

  1. I don't know you.......I enjoyed your blogs before Rudy got ill; cheered for you when you two were fighting so hard to win; and shed tears when things did not turn out as hoped. I have been in your shoes, a different pair-a different person, similar enough to understand at least a little bit. You will make it through this part of your journey and on to write the next chapter in your life, whatever that may be. You may not feel it yet but your posts are stronger, more kind/less anger and frustration. Keep on truckin' dear lady - what you focus on expands. This is one of my favorite posts, and the one with the keys......I am cheering for you now. We all are.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this sweet comment. You have no idea how much it means. I can't think exactly how to express the warm feelings you brought, but I'll say this, a couple of tears are falling down my face. They are happy tears. Thank you.

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    2. your a strong person,I like reading your stuff.

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