Becoming Fierce

I'm becoming fierce!  When my husband died, my life fell apart and all the plans we'd made crumbled. I had no choice but to quickly start figuring out how to live the rest of my life.  Life is unpredictable.  My life might end tomorrow.  I might live to be 100.  I want whatever time I have left to be good. All of it.  Even NOW, in the midst of grieving.  Life should not be put off for someday.

I've come up with five resolutions to help me become fierce.   All I need to do is raise one finger at a time to remind myself of them all.

Little Finger - Have a Little Fun Every Day, More if Possible
I'll make the best of every chance I have to connect with true friends and family for a bit of fun!  Maybe our work ethic lessons were wrong.  Maybe we should have fun first and work during whatever time is left.

Ring Finger - Push Myself
It's really hard to raise the ring finger on its own, but give it a push and it goes right up.  I will push myself.  I will do more, expect more, and dream bigger.

Middle Finger - Eliminate or Reduce What Doesn't Bring Me Joy
This one is all about telling a few things in my life to GET LOST.  I will look for ways to do less of what is not fun or beneficial.  I'll spend less time on social media.  The old bit, if a little is good, more is better, does NOT apply to social media!  I'll get serious about reducing clutter. I'll spend less time with people who are toxic, negative, or enjoy drama.  I won't accept being mistreated or belittled.   What's left will lead to a more joyful life of substance.   In my old life, I never would have posted a photo of my hand in this position.   The gesture may be crude, but it makes it easy to remember this resolution!  

Pointer Finger - Take Care of Myself First
Taking care of myself is my number one priority.   In order to do all the things I need to do, I need to be in the best shape possible. I can't afford to be sick or weak.   I have no back up. No matter how many people love me and offer to help me out, in the end, there's truly only one person I can depend on  - MYSELF.  I will eat right, exercise, rest, be happy, reduce stress...   I will look out for my health, safety and well-being.  I will be strong.

Thumb - Trust Myself Completely.  I'm Good.
I'll ask for advice when I need it, but I will make my own decisions.  I'm the only one who truly understands my situation and circumstances.  I don't need confirmation or approval. I'm good on my own.  I'm not seeking companionship.  I need time to become strong on my own.    My life can never again be what it was with Rudy.  I plan to make a new life with the new person I'm becoming.


The more I practice these resolutions, the more fierce I will become.

My Brother-In-Law Tried to Kill Me Today!

My brother-in-law, Mike, called yesterday to see if I was interested in going to Pine Mountain for a hike today.  That sounded good to me.  I really want to try to step up my fitness game.

We set off on the Wolfden hike.  Susan and I had hiked to Wolfden back in October, but we didn't do the entire hike.  We did the shorter hike to the den and back.  Mike's mission was the complete 6.7 mile loop.  

He set off at a respectable (breakneck) pace.  I was determined to keep up with whatever pace he set without complaint (crying).  Hiking with Mike is a bit different than hiking with Susan.  Susan and I stop to admire the scenery and take photos and drink water.  Most of the photos I took today were taken quickly while on the move (run).  There was no dawdling.

It took Susan and I about an hour and 45 minutes to make it to the den.  It took Mike and I one hour.  It took us 3 hours and 15 minutes to hike the entire 6.7 mile loop.

The hike beyond the den is not quite as pretty, but it was interesting.  The terrain changes substantially a number of times.  There were a couple of sections of woods where the hiking was fairly easy, but all in all, the hike was challenging - a moderate rating.  Up and down mountains over and over, 13 creek crossings, rocks and roots...   There were two particularly steep uphill sections where I thought paramedics might be needed. 

We crossed roads twice during the hike.  After the last crossover, we went through an area that had been hard hit after a tornado a few years ago.  It was sad, but the area was still pretty in a very unusual sort of way.  The photos I took here are some of my favorites, actually.  I like the colors and the lonesome feel.

To set the record straight and clear Mike's name, he asked if I was doing OK many times.  If I had given him any clue that I was pushing it (praying to be put out of my misery), he would have slowed down or rested or whatever I wanted.  In truth, I WANTED to be pushed.  It was fabulous!!!!  I'd gladly do it again, but not tomorrow.  I may not be able to move tomorrow.

Mike's trying to talk me into joining in on a Grand Canyon hike in 2017.  The really crazy thing is that I just might do it.